The world tells you that life is about YOU and what YOU want while family members and communities will tell you that your main purpose in life is your home, your spouse, your children or family.
Who do you believe? Which is it?
Okay, so here is a couple scenarios.
Scenario one: You are at the end of your life a bit too early. Your children have only just left home and while on your death bed, the only opportunity left is perhaps to share a few words. In the first scenario, you’ve devoted your life, selflessly to your children, family and home while forgoing your personal ambitions and desires. You worked a “responsible” job to pay the bills or tended to the children and home full time. You never tried that hobby that you wanted and you surely never started that business that you wanted to but you did the selfless thing; the “right” thing.
Do you feel regret?
Scenario two: You are still on your death bed just as early only in this scenario you’ve been quite ambitious. You started a business that you loved and you saw it through every up and down until it made you wildly successful. You’ve been financially wealthy and people will remember you for what you’ve done. You created a large social circle and spent much time traveling and engaging with interesting people. Meanwhile, your kids spent more time with a nanny than with you and you didn’t make all that many memories with them or your partner.
Do you feel regret?
Bear with me here for one more question.
Do you feel regret in both? And if so, which regret is greater?
As a coach I have discussed this topic with many, many men and women and it’s given me a lot of insight. I am in a valuable position with what I do because while I train health coaches, I mentor them through the creation or destination piece of their business which means that I walk them through the creation piece of their life. It is impossible to have one without the other and contrary to what most believe, I believe that you can and should have both pieces of the above posed question.
Having mentored a lot of people, I believe more strongly today that each person was created to seek purpose and fulfillment. I also believe that cultivating our children, our home and intangible relationships is an integral part of that as well. The hard part is that the typical nine to five doesn’t lend itself well to time freedom. That time freedom is where we invest and experience life and while many people can find joy in whatever they do, why not create a life that maximizes time and joy?
When I started my business, I had to build it around the hours that I spent with the kids, while their dad worked to provide and in doing so, I learned how to maximize very small windows of time and utilize that time for fulfilling purposeful work. I also figured out how to get paid in those windows which done responsibly and with intention, allowed us to maximize the other hours of the day. If I could make money in my windows, doing what I loved than my partner didn’t have to make as much or work as many hours. When my partner could work a few less hours, we as a family had more usable time and with intentional planning, that time could be used to cultivate a bit more of my business, invest time into relationships and give more quality attention to our kids by both of us separate and individually.
So, if that life is really possible, and I am proof that it is, then why do we wait so long to create it? Why do we believe that we have to choose between the death bed scenarios? For me, there were five main things that I can attribute to the life I’m blesses to live now, the life I created.
- Run Through the Death Bed Scenario. Know what you can’t sacrifice in this life and build a life around those foundations and convictions.
- Simplicity. Find the greatest JOY in the simplest things so that satisfaction isn’t tied to monetary wealth or possessions. Make your wants heavier in experiences than in things.
- Financial Responsibility and Intention. “It’s not what you make, it’s what you spend.” A lot of people say that they “Can’t afford” this or that however if they were to go through what I call a “Priority Audit” I think most people could find room to afford much more than they say. Especially when it means TIME, EDUCATION and INVESTING in your desired life outcome.
- Invest In Something You Love. If you could get paid for anything, what would it be? Start cultivating knowledge in this area and spend time creating, researching and tossing around ideas.
- Time Block for Your Life. Once you have an idea of something you’d love to do or once you’ve decided that you want to make more memories with your family or seek adventure, block a time to CONSISTANTLY invest in this vision. Make a space for the life you want and show up consistently to see it into fruition.
One last thing that I must add is to SUPPORT THOSE YOU LOVE in their NEED for PURPOSE and FULLFILLMENT! There is nothing worse that talking to a man or woman who’s partner or family talks them down from their dreams or doesn’t support them. We as humans have a VOID and when that void isn’t filled with purpose, it easily gets filled with self-medication. Believe in others and allow others to believe in you.
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